（Continuing on from the above）

Magnetic Switches: Walking the Tightrope
Here, precision is paramount. Lubricate ONLY springs and stems—keep all grease away from magnets. Why? Because magnets despise contamination like cats despise baths. One stray dab could summon demons (or just kill the Hall effect). Bonus quest: stabalizer exorcism. Remove spacebar stabilizers, cleanse wires with isopropyl alcohol, then lube their tips. Suddenly, your spacebar stops rattling like a haunted tambourine and lands with a cushioned thud.

Catastrophes to Avoid: The Seven Deadly Sins of Lubing
Overlubing is the cardinal sin. It births sticky "swamp switches" that respond like a keyboard submerged in molasses. Lubing tactile stems? That's heresy—you'll murder their bumpy soul. Skipping stabilizers? Enjoy a spacebar that echoes like a kick drum in an empty gym. And never—never—eyeball grease quantities. Use half what your instincts scream. Pro tip: test 3-4 switches first. If they feel sluggish, you've crossed into the Swamp of Sadness.

The Eternal Debate: Is This Sweat-Fest Worth It?
For linear switches: ABSOLUTELY. A lubed Gateron Yellow scoffs at stock Cherry MXes. It's alchemy—turning budget copper into auditory gold. Magnetic switches? Debatable. Factory-lubed models (like Wooting's) often need minimal intervention. But for custom builds? A light lube elevates them to nirvana. Final verdict: lubing is like learning guitar. Your fingers will curse you, your partner will question your life choices, but when you're floating on those velvet keystrokes? Transcendence.

Advanced Pilgrimage: Pro Tips for the Devout

· Spring Swapping: Tired of your stock springs? Swap them! 62g for writers, 78g for heavy-handed gamers.

· Film Your Switches: Tiny plastic films between housings reduce wobble. Think Spanx for keyboards.

· Burn-In Rituals: Type on switches for 20+ hours pre-lube. They'll accept grease like parched soil.

· Sound Test Relentlessly: Record before/after audio. The difference? Chills.

Epilogue: Go Forth and Anoint Thy Keeb!
So there you have it—the path from scratchy purgatory to lubed paradise. Will it consume your weekend? Yes. Will non-keeb friends call you obsessive? Absolutely. But when your fingers dance across those silent, buttery switches? You'll pity the unlubed masses. Now grab your brush, channel your inner zen master, and may the thock be with you.

Got lube war stories? Worship tips? Testify in the comments!
Share this gospel—save a soul from scratchy damnation.